Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
