Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
