you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
