We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
