Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
