are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
