nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The uberlube is also flammable
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
