32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
