she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
