if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
