she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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