Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
