why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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