I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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