i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize