As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I currently don't understand fingers.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We smell like vodka and hangover
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