she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
