I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize