I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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