he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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