Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
