Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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