Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
