if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
