I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
