dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
