Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
