i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
