Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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