What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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