I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
