i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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