it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
