So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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