this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
