and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize