4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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