is your mom at the bar?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
