I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
