would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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