Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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