Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
