just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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