my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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