Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
