They should really pass out barf bags in church
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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