sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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