The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
