it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
