Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
