"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
