im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
