It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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