I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
