he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
