toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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