Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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