I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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