thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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