The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
