So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want to have your abortion
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
