drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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