so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
