i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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